All right let's do the recap for the past few months:

I has bike:
I has house:
I has dog:
and most importantly, I has girl:
So, yeah. I guess quite a lot has changed since my last post. Even the template has changed :X Aside from all of that not much different has been going on, mostly just work. This is pretty much just one of those obligatory filler posts that people keep bugging me to do to make sure everything is updated. So, enjoy.

Keep on Driving.

Olive hue.

Well, it's official. I'll be moving back to Yuma July 29th. I got offered a job with the Crane School district as a computer monkey. I think it will overall be a good change for me. Closer to friends and family, less BS at work, more money, somewhat of a change of scenery. It is Yuma, but I think being in a smaller town will be nice for a while after dealing with all the craziness of being in Vegas. Most of the people I work with now have said they will be sad to see me go, which is nice. I wonder if I'll actually keep in touch with any of them. Ah well, time will tell. This is mostly just a short post to spam that I'm going to Yuma. See you on the other side.

I hate to blog again so soon, because people will just not read the one before this, but I can't help but write this down.

Two pigeons have been building a nest on the security camera box outside my office. They've been having a difficult time of it, because the box isn't very big, so sticks will fall out to the ground every now and then. Dilligently, though, the male drops down to the ground, grabs the sticks and flies them back up to the female to keep rebuilding their nest.

This morning the janitor was cleaning over in that area of campus, and this afternoon I notice the nest is now gone. The pigeons however, are nestled together on the roof above where their nest used to be, looking incredibly sad (if pigeons can express such emotions). Either way, I know it makes me sad.

I'm sure this connects to my previous post somehow, meaning and all that, but it's just too depressing to really push the point.

I'm sure it's just the lack of sleep talking, but I've been thinking a lot about people, and existence lately.

It's incredibly egotistical, and a terribly self-centered worldview, but I've begun to wonder lately whether all of this is just made up in my mind. I wonder if the people, and the places, and the experiences, and everything else about my existence is just a way to further my own knowledge of self.

I'm shown things I like and dislike, experience things I like and dislike, and meet people that I will come to like or dislike. All of these seemingly coincidental circumstances shape who we are in terms of our thoughts, and our opinions and feelings, and lead towards a certain point. I can't claim to know what that is, but it only makes sense that all of these things would come together to form a logical end, if you could see all the parts and put them together.

I have always had this strange feeling that there's something behind what I see, lurking in the shadows, behind the curtains, that's truly what is at work with our reality. Maybe it's God and the typical idea of the divine. Maybe it's something else, but nothing seems to feel real and it just makes me wonder if maybe I'm missing something. Or maybe I'm just losing my mind.

Either way, I've started looking at people and situations differently. It's caused me to think of them more of a part of a whole, rather than the entirety itself. I take more notice of the people I run into in the store, or getting my hair cut, or who randomly message me online. I think a little more about what the meaning behind the random situations I am forced into at work, or just driving from point A to point B.

I just keep getting the feeling that none of it truly is random, and it's shaping my thoughts, and pushing me towards some pre-determined point. Anyone that knows me would agree that not knowing the "why" in a situation frustrates me to no end, and I believe that's added to part of my strange feelings in these thoughts. I want to know why these things are happening, and feel deeply that there really is a reason behind it. Maybe this reality is just a training ground for whatever happens next, after life, and we're all put through different training programs. It would give weight to that contant nagging feeling that I'm supposed to be doing something bigger, something greater, and that there's something important in the future for which I just need to be patient.

At any rate, another strange rambling from a sleep-deprived mind. It's been a while since I've had a post like this. Enjoy.

As I was walking through my campus today, I noticed a pigeon hobbling along in the courtyard. I saw what appeared to be some kind of wire or twine wrapped around its legs. I tried to chase after it and see if it would let me remove the rope, but of course it would never let me get more than a few feet from it. It could walk okay, sort of, with some effort, and seemed to be able to fly, but I felt bad. I wanted to help. I wanted to make things better. This pigeon, though, seemed quite content in the way it was leading its life, even if I felt that it could be improved. It didn't want my help, or just thought I would hurt it if it let me get too close.

I think this is a more adequate representation of my life than I could ever come up with.

Due to overwhelming pressure, I suppose I should post some more. Not much else going on these days though, so it's hard to come up with anything exciting. I've moved out into my own place since my last post, which I'm enjoying quite a bit. Living alone is nice. Still working the same place, and that's about all I do; Work, come home, play some video games or watch tv, go to sleep.

The contract my company has with the school district is coming up for review again this month, and it could be renewed or not. Of course the people in my company working on the negotiations say it looks positive, and the school district people say they don't know what to expect. If they don't renew, I'll be looking for a new job come the end of the school year (around July). I have a feeling if that happens, life might get a little crazy again. Maybe I'll move back down to Phoenix, or try to find a job here. My mom keeps trying to get me to move back to Yuma and take a tech job with her school district too. Either way, I'm sure it will be.. interesting, and I'm sure I'll take a good 6 months to get around to blogging about whatever happens.

Until then..